14 April 2017

My Thoughts // The Fear Of Not Having A Post Queue

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This time last week I had absolutely no posts in my queue and it filled me with fear. I haven’t had no posts lined up in my queue for months now. I have had things lined up and ready to go and planned ahead for the past few weeks. Sure, I’ve had to finish off posts and brush up a few things. Every so often I’ve had to write a post and slot in my queue but all in all, I’ve been able to sit back and relax. It’s been refreshing. I saw I was posting that final post and I actually thought about delaying posting until I had a few more reviews and things lined up. It was only a moment of thinking about delaying and then I realised that was stupid and to get a grip but it really got me thinking, why am I so scared about not having a post ready and lined up in advance?
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When I started blogging I didn’t have a queue, I decided to start a blog, I chose a name and designed my blog and wrote up a post and published it. I didn’t have a review ready. I had no discussion post ready. I had no Top Ten Tuesday. I had nothing and I didn’t care. I found it exhilarating, this sense of freedom I had to do what I wanted when I wanted. I thought it was so cool that I had gotten myself my own little corner of the internet to do with it what I will and it felt amazing. I posted as and when I wanted and often didn’t finalise my post until seconds before I posted.

Now I post things which I wrote a week, a fortnight, a month ago and when people comment on my review I have forgotten everything I have to say. I find myself having to read my post again to be able to respond to what someone else said. Or I’ve written a review fresh from finishing a book but two weeks later when I post it I find that my thoughts have changed. I don’t feel as critical or I’ve noticed a few flaws and basically, my thoughts are different about books two weeks after as opposed to immediately after finishing.

Now I have to slowly work on my posts day by day I am excited about the feeling of freedom I have again. Sure, I have ARCs I want to review and there are monthly and weekly posts I always do but for the next couple of weeks, at least, I am working post by post. Sure, I’ll slowly build up my queue again but that will take time and until then I can just take it easy and remember why I love to blog.

Do you feel scared at the prospect of having no posts queued up? And do you enjoy the freedom you have when you have nothing queued up?

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